My National State of the Union

If I were President Obama this is what I would tell America at the State of the Union.


Hello. Firstly we must thank the troops still protecting this nation and its freedoms wherever they may be. Their efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan and elsewhere have been exceptional as always. Now, to the matters of this year's agenda.
Every tax that was approved in the past 12 months I will make an effort to repeal every single one of them. The TARP funds will not be recirculated into job creation as the past year has proven the government can not create jobs.
As for health care reform it is clear that the current bill serves no one's best interest. A simple approach banning pre-existing conditions and obvious issues with Medicare should be the initial stages of health reform and I propose a simpler approach rather than our original idea of a complete overhaul of a system which is still the best in the world despite the drawbacks.
Any new bill that is longer than twenty pages will be automatically vetoed. The sad reality that some members of Congress not reading the seventeen pages that provide the foundation for our nation's existence leads me to believe without a doubt that they do not read the 2,000 page bills they have been bringing to my desk.
Any bill without a majority of both Democrats and Republican support will be heavily scrutinized by myself and the American public. That is true bipartisanship and the past year has shown a failure of that concept by both myself, my administration, and the Democratic leadership overall. The efforts of Republicans will hopefully be equaled to provide a real middle ground representation of the will of the American people.
As for the issue of equal rights for all this past year has seen little movement towards a goal of equal in the eyes of the law. While I support same-sex marriage or any true equivalent the issue of don't ask don't tell in the military is a regrettably necessary aspect of our armed forces. It guarantees that the front lines have no distractions for our troops.
As for the war in Afghanistan we are no longer going to tolerate a Pakistan who sacrifices its forces lives against the Taliban while it also funds the Taliban efforts in Afghanistan. The message will be clear also to Karzai's government that continued corruption will result in a heavier American control of the situation if he is unable to provide the leadership the people of Afghanistan both want and need.
As for immigration reform an initial amnesty for illegal immigrants in the country more than ten years shall be granted as long as they accept a fine and the beginnings of the process of citizenship. For the rest the enforcement of U.S. law shall apply in full. No longer will businesses be allowed to overlook U.S. citizens for jobs in order to circumvent adequate labor standards by unfairly using illegal immigrants at sub-standard wages to make law abiding competitors lose American workers to stay in business. I request that a bill to this, and only this effect be passed in Congress as soon as possible.
Barring any further economic failures I feel this is an agenda suitable for the nation in 2010. I know all sides of Democrats and Republicans, liberals and conservatives will look to my statements with disbelief or anger. I want all Americans regardless of political persuasion to know that the change needed was not more government as I believed but more common sense.
Thank you, goodnight. Good bless America.